What makes a good counsellor?

Finding the right counsellor can feel a bit like dating—you want someone you can trust, connect with, and feel comfortable around. But what really makes a counsellor “good”? Beyond qualifications and experience, it’s often the personal qualities that make all the difference.

1. They’re Easy to Talk To

A good counsellor creates a safe space where you can share your thoughts without fear of judgment. They listen deeply, ask thoughtful questions, and help you feel heard. When it’s easy to open up, the real work can begin.

2. They Can Laugh With You

Yes, counselling can involve serious topics—but a good counsellor also knows when to lighten the mood. Laughter can be healing, helping you feel more human and less overwhelmed by your struggles.

3. They Are Empathetic, Not Just Sympathetic

Empathy is the ability to truly understand your experience, not just feel sorry for it. A good counsellor meets you where you are, validating your feelings and helping you navigate challenges without making you feel judged or “fixed.”

4. They Stay Present

Counsellors who are present in the moment help you feel grounded. They notice not just your words, but your tone, body language, and the emotions behind what you say. This attentiveness can be incredibly validating and reassuring.

5. They Offer Guidance Without Pushing

A good counsellor doesn’t force solutions—they guide you to your own insights. They offer tools, techniques, and perspectives, but you remain the author of your own story.

6. They Can Handle Tough Conversations

Sometimes, growth requires facing difficult emotions. A skilled counsellor knows how to navigate pain, grief, anger, or trauma safely and respectfully, helping you work through discomfort rather than avoiding it.

7. They Care About Your Well-Being

Ultimately, a good counsellor genuinely cares about you as a person, not just your “case.” Their dedication comes through in how they follow up, check in, and celebrate your progress—even small wins.

Bottom line: The best counsellors are human, approachable, and present. They laugh with you, listen without judgment, and guide you with empathy and care. When you find someone who blends professionalism with genuine warmth, that’s when the real healing begins.